« SAUVER LES ENFANTS DE LA CRUAUTE ! METTRE EN PLACE UN CADRE D’ECOUTE ! »
La violence, la vulgarité et l’émotion qui ont accompagné la mort d’un parent, restent une souffrance énorme pour les enfants qui vivent et encaissent tous ces coups. La tendance à se faire justice, à se venger, finit par être destructrice pour la société. Les psychologues pointent ainsi du doigt, la violence devenue quotidienne dans divers milieux, selon eux, cela pourrait découler du trop-plein de frustrations mal exprimées. La mort atroce ces derniers jours d’un homme public doit ainsi bien se résoudre, pour que ses enfants ne deviennent pas à la longue une plaie pour la société. Cyrille Kingue Mbeppe.
Il s’appelait Martinez ZOGO, il était dans l’univers médiatique de la capitale Yaoundé, un repère pour certains citoyens. Il avait ses faiblesses, ses atouts. On pouvait l’aimer ou pas, il faisait partie intégrante de la cité. Et au-delà de tout verbiage, il était un parent, un membre d’une famille. La chronique malencontreuse de son enlèvement, la longue attente d’un signe venant de lui et surtout, les images grossières et choquantes de sa dépouille retrouvée, ne sont pas près de disparaitre de nos consciences. Pour le Dr Thierry DONG, Psychologue Clinicien et Universitaire, les enfants du disparu sont en ce moment dans une période d’élaboration de ce qu’ils viennent de subir. « Ils font un travail autour de leur souffrance, un travail purement mental, qui puise dans leurs ressources inconscientes. A cet âge l’enfant s’invente une histoire, qu’il raconte pour donner du sens à l’événement traumatique, trouver une explication qui tient. Et il a besoin de soutien. »
Les violences qui naissent et grandissent, qui s’entretiennent dans nos rues, les lieux publics, contre les représentants de la force publique, auraient selon l’Universitaire, des racines plus profondes encore. « Nous sommes comme dans une société en conflit, à cause de nombreuses frustrations, des situations mal réglées. Il faut donc éviter que ces enfants s’enfoncent dans un deuil traumatique, une sorte de disparition avec leur parent décédé, c’est-à-dire, qu’ils perdent le goût aux choses qui donnent du sens à leur existence. On devrait pour eux, créer un cadre d’écoute. Certains professionnels pourraient ainsi préconiser un éloignement » et c’est ici que la trop grande exposition des victimes, aux médias serait dangereuse. « La psychologie humaine est complexe, on ne peut pas dire qu’on a percé le dixième de ce qu’elle peut porter. Pour les enfants, le poids d’un tel événement est immense personne ne peut présager à l’avance ce qui peut arriver. Tout dépendra de ce qu’ils entendront. On peut craindre que les victimes plongent dans une routine propre à des personnes blessées émotionnellement. Elles peuvent se sentir indignes, pas acceptées, pas aimées »
LES AINES – LA FAMILLE – L’ETAT
Le travail qui se fait autour de cette situation, doit être conséquent, cela pour sauver les enfants des frustrations. Les retombées sont incommensurables, si aucune action pérenne n’est menée. L’Etat, devrait faire toute la lumière sur cette mort violente, et punir les coupables. Les personnes qui entourent les enfants, à l’école, la maison, partout où ils se retrouvent, devraient eux aussi leur permettre d’évacuer leur mal-être. « Les personnes ainsi exposées doivent sublimer la douleur induite par la situation, sinon en grandissant, ils auraient tendance à être réactifs, à vouloir se défendre, pour ne pas paraitre faibles. Elles peuvent, s’identifier au bourreau et se faire justice ou encore s’identifier à la souffrance et devenir amorphes. »
PARDONNER
« Le mot clé pour l’avenir des enfants est le pardon, ils doivent pardonner aux autres, à la société, à eux-mêmes pour éviter que le mal prenne le dessus. » Si cela n’est pas fait, « Il y aurait dans le comportement des enfants, un zeste de culpabilité, ils pourraient se blâmer pour n’avoir pas su défendre leur parent. » Le cycle de violences, de règlement des comptes, que l’on enregistre dans notre société ne peut reculer, que si le pardon devient un mode de vie, une réalité partagée et si la confiance en une justice juste et équitable pour tous est reconstruite.
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